Julia Morris: A funny thing happened on my way today…

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Funnily enough, stand-up comedian, House Husband actress and Logies presenter Julia Morris is something of a travel expert, having spent the better part of her working life travelling around Australia’s far flung landscape. Here she shares the best and worst of her adventures with Steve Madgwick:

Any tawdry back-stage Logies’ goss that you can divulge?

I was only out until about 1am, which is when most of the parties started. My days of hanging out and fanging out are over – I get too excited about sleeping. There’s hardly any gossip anymore anyway because everything is leaked out by selfies.

You are a comedian, writer, actress, presenter etc – how do you describe yourself to people who haven’t met you?

Very down to earth – on every level… Oh, you mean my job description? I just turn up to entertainment, that’s all.

You must be on the road a lot for your various day jobs; do you enjoy travelling?

I do enjoy it – and I don’t travel just for my stand-up work either. I’ve lived in many, many different countries (UK, South Africa, Los Angeles, New Caledonia, Bali, Japan) so I’m not afraid of changing things around, learning about new places.

That sounds like a lot of long-haul flying – how do you handle that?

There are no bad bits of flying for me – except when people think the video in the back of the seat takes i-Phone pointing strength to make it work!

Is there a certain place in Australia that you’ve always wanted to see but haven’t yet?

To be honest, I’m one of the rare Australians who has travelled to the far-flung alcoves of this great nation. But I would like to see The Kimberley in greater detail – more than just the 48-hour turnover we have as performers coming in and out of places.

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AI Prompt

Is there a place in Australia you’ve been to that you wish you hadn’t – perhaps somewhere where your show didn’t get the best reaction?

I don’t think so. Having toured extensively as a stand-up for the best part of 28 years, I’ve been to so many places but each one brings up a certain kind of joy. Stand-up crowds just want a laugh and they don’t want you to be too up yourself.

All-time favourite place to stay in Australia?

Crowne Plaza at Terrigal (NSW Central Coast). I was a water aerobics instructor there during its early years and staying there makes me know I’m up on my beautiful Central Coast, docking back on my Mother Ship, in maximum luxury.

Where do you get your caffeine fix?

The airport cafes are my favourites – I use them a lot! There’s one place at Sydney airport, Trattoria Prego, that makes a sandwich out of this flaky pastry bread with little seeds on it. I wouldn’t pass through without going directly to it and buying one of those and a coffee.

I heard you were married in Las Vegas – why?

It just sounded fun. Dan’s from the UK and we had three countries where guests would have to come from so Vegas seemed like not only a half way point but a really fun point too. We did it on New Year’s Eve so we just had a massive party. Neither of us are gamblers, though, so I’m still not exactly sure how we ended up in Vegas.

What’s your ultimate holiday nightmare, real or imagined?

I’ve only just lived through it over the Christmas Holidays. I booked a holiday house online that looked amazing on the website. But it was possibly the dirtiest place I’ve ever been in. I couldn’t even turn a lamp off without going to the bathroom to wash my hands afterwards.

How is it travelling with your two young girls?

The girls have been looping around the planet since they were born – they are not going to appreciate their carbon footprint when I tell them the truth later. We have a real system in place, they are so used to flying now – and we don’t drug them! I like to joke when we get on the plane, and see people’s faces glaze over when they see they have to sit near to young kids; I say, “don’t worry, we’re going to drug them". They’re so well behaved after that people just assume we’ve drugged them anyway. It’s the only time they’re really sweet.

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Where did young Julia go for school holidays?

Both my parents worked full time so we didn’t go too flash. We would go to my parent’s friend’s place at McMasters Beach (NSW Central Coast). We would pack up the car like we were driving somewhere forever away and then just drive for 10 minutes and then immerse ourselves in Central Coast beach life. Those were the best holidays ever. Laugh, eat and get out on the beach!

How do rate Melbourne (since moving there last year for House Husbands) against some of the other cities you’ve lived in: Sydney, LA etc?

I never rate my cities against each other – because it allows me to have full love for every single city. I can’t turn my back on my own city though; every time I fly into Sydney, over that sexy old coat hanger, it makes me think “ohh, my city!". But now Melbourne is my city too – every city we live in we embrace like locals, as soon as possible.

What’s the tackiest souvenir you’ve ever bought?

I have a special gift in tacky souvenirs. I have a salt and pepper shaker which is a woman’s bust – it’s amazing. But there’s no such things as tacky – if it gives you joy and reminds you of a place then there’s always room for it in your home.

Absolute travel splash-out in Australia (time and money no object)?

The full top half, from Cairns and Port Douggy, all the way over to, and including and tickling, Broome. Just pop into Katherine, get Darwin involved, especially the wave machine pool.

That’s a long way – will you be doing the driving?

No, I think I’d have to be in some kind of a private plane situation, wouldn’t I. Never been in one but that’s how I see it.

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How to spend a tasty long weekend in Geelong and the Bellarine

    Lucy Cousins Lucy Cousins
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    From rust-coloured foliage and foodie experiences to stunning sunsets, this part of Victoria is best explored as the mild days of winter arrive.

    As the heat of the summer sun subsides and the milder days roll in, the stunning landscapes of Geelong and the Bellarine add pops of colour. The slight chill in the air will stir your taste buds and invite you to explore the peninsula’s foodie hotspots, while the vivid sunsets and cooler evenings will draw you to cosy fireside chats and evening adventures to watch the stars appear one at a time.

    Just over an hour from busy Flinders Street, or a short 25-minute drive from Avalon Airport, Geelong is Melbourne’s cooler, more laid-back cousin with a sparkling marina, stunning surf beaches, impressive museums and a lively foodie scene.

    federal mill geelong in autumn
    Winter is the perfect time to see local sights.

    It’s also the perfect starting point from which to explore the Bellarine Peninsula. Packed full of jaw-dropping scenery, inviting townships and over 40 cellar doors serving up local cool-weather wines, winter here is distinctly beautiful with its change of colours, temperatures and produce.

    Whether you drive or catch the short but incredibly scenic ferry from the Mornington Peninsula, it’s no surprise this region offers up one of Australia’s best long weekend destinations. Here’s how to soak it all up.

    Day 1: Explore Geelong with the locals

    Morning

    Start the day by grabbing breakfast and strong coffee from Pavilion Geelong (try the braised mushrooms on toast) while watching the gentle waves lapping the edge of Corio Bay. After brekkie, join the locals walking along the scenic Art Deco waterfront to explore the historic piers, beautiful beaches and gleaming white yachts in the marina.

    Pavilion Geelong in winter
    Start the day at Pavilion Geelong.

    Afternoon

    After a morning in the sun, venture to the recently refurbished Federal Mill precinct, a grand old woollen mill built in 1915. Explore the industrial history of this area, as well as the gourmet produce on offer, before pulling up a table at the popular Paddock Bakery. Famous for their wood-fired sourdough and tasty pastries, this cafe serves up tasty dishes like their Crème Brûlée doughnuts. Chase your lunch down with an afternoon of gin tasting at Anther Distillery.

    Paddock Bakery Crème Brûlée doughnut
    Try the Paddock Bakery Crème Brûlée doughnuts.

    Night

    For an evening of frivolity and decadence, head back to Geelong for dinner and a show at the newly reopened Geelong Arts Centre. Later, enjoy a mini Negroni with a scoop of Black Pearl Oscietra Gold caviar at the sleek Non Disclosure Bar.

    Day 2: A foodie-centric day in Moorabool Valley

    Morning

    Wake up with the soft winter sun and cooler temperatures, then travel to the lush farmlands and stunning landscapes of Moorabool Valley, the home of Meredith Farm Store. Choose a seat outside in the leafy courtyard and enjoy a tasting platter of fresh produce among the flowers.

    Afternoon

    To explore the area, visit the cellar door at the Moorabool Valley Wine Collective, which encompasses three award-winning winemakers, before stopping by Austin’s Wines for lunch. Not only can you taste over 10 local wines at the dedicated tastings bar, but you can also curate your own cheese platter to eat outside on their shaded deck.

    two people trying the wine at Austin's wines
    Stop by Austin’s Wines for lunch.

    Night

    Continue on your foodie quest with dinner in Newtown at the Asian fusion Two Noble restaurant, or, inside the same venue at Sawyers Arms Tavern, dive into the European flavours of Eileen’s Charcoal Grill on your way back to Geelong.

    table spread at two noble restaurant
    The chef’s hatted Two Noble restaurant is waiting.

    Day 3: Adventures in The Bellarine

    Morning

    For a light breakfast, head 20 minutes out of town to the rustic Ket Baker, an artisan bakery known for their 100% sourdough croissants. Grab a hot cuppa under the gum trees and enjoy the morning chill in the air. Then spend the morning on the foodie-focused Bellarine Taste Trail, visiting local producers like  Bellarine Smokehouse, Flying Brick Cider House and FarmDog Brewing.

    croissants at ket baker
    Enjoy a light breakfast at Ket Baker.

    Lunch

    There’s no better way to enjoy lunch than to make it from scratch. With Harvest Experience’s Pasta & Pinot cooking class, you’ll have a genuine farm-to-plate experience as you learn to make fettuccini and filled ravioli from scratch. Once cooked, sit down, relax and enjoy your hard work with a glass of Bellarine Peninsula pinot noir.

    Afternoon and night

    Burn off your lunch with an afternoon trip to the bayside town of Portarlington, where Australian blue mussels are harvested offshore. Stop by the quirky Ducks Nuts and peruse the trinkets and treasures before making your way to the restored Portarlington Grand Hotel. Built in 1888, this beautiful building now houses four distinct dining experiences, including the new open-air spaces of The Atrium and Lawn, where you can enjoy a local gin as the sun sets over the bay.

    waiter holding mussels at Portarlington Grand Hotel
    Be sure to try Portarlington mussels.

    Start planning your ultimate Geelong & The Bellarine adventure at visitgeelongbellarine.com.au.

    Julia Morris: A funny thing happened on my way today... - Australian Traveller